6. Juli 1944
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Woltersdorf | ![]() | |||
Friedrichshagen | ![]() |
6 Jul 44. I'm waiting with Albert's sister-in-law outside the Woltersdorf registry office. We're supposed to be witnesses. Carola wants to join us. After a short time, the young couple come towards us. Albert is wearing the uniform of a lance corporal officer aspirant. As we greet each other, Ruth expresses her disappointment at my civilian dress. She would have liked to see me in a lieutenant's uniform.

f.l.t.r.: Albert Bauer, former class mate, colleague and best friend of the author; Ruth Bauer b. Knop, former girl friend of the author; Carola Schrödter w. Selle b. Rommeler, mother of the editor; Herbert Schrödter, the author, father of the editor
The formalities of the civil marriage ceremony are over. I put my name on the certificate as a witness. After returning to the domicile, we have a cold breakfast, half-rolls with toppings and sparkling wine. But as Carola has to arrive by tram at any moment, I leave the table heavy-heartedly and walk to the tram stop. Here I have already waited for the third tram. Carola hadn't come along. It's starting to get critical. We want to drive to church in fifteen minutes. I'm on pins and needles. Finally she arrives, literally at the last minute. I breathe a sigh of relief as I greet her and ask why she's late. She confesses to me, somewhat embarrassed, that she had the runs out of the excitement. Now we are travelling in a festively decorated tram to the small Protestant village church in Woltersdorf. As a guest, I now watch the same ceremonies again that I experienced myself as the groom a few weeks ago. The pastor gives a very beautiful, powerful speech about the meaning of marriage, which - with a slight sense of schadenfreude - I certainly don't begrudge my friend. I have to smile inwardly at the thought that Albert has to listen to all this and keep his mouth nicely shut. As we leave the church, the whole party is photographed. After the wedding banquet, we sit down in the garden and chat to the guests, who are just the immediate family. Ruth takes photos non-stop, especially of her young husband. Then she takes Carola under her arm and walks her up and down the garden path. I'm very happy about this conciliatory gesture, because Carola has made some cool remarks in the course of the conversations. After coffee, I retire to the veranda with Albert. We uncorked a bottle of the best French wine and, after a long drink, engaged in a warm conversation. My main aim is to gain Albert's understanding for Carola's attitude.
How quickly life flies by! I can still see Albert and me as grammar-school boys. Later, as students, we struggled to understand the great problems of our time and the spiritual worlds. Then we both entered the honourable profession of teacher and youth educator with more or less dignity and worthiness. After a few years we went to war as soldiers, and today we sit together as military leaders and young husbands. In the meantime, forms of government have come and gone, world views have been born and collapsed. We have survived them all, our convictions have remained the same. The war has torn us apart, thrown us to the most distant fronts, plunged us into hardship and mortal danger. And today we sit together as if nothing had happened. A rock-solid friendship in the maelstrom of world events.
There Carola comes in and explains briefly and succinctly: "I'm going home now!" I reply just as calmly and serenely that I want to stay a little longer. Albert is amazed. "With what sovereign confidence you control the situation!" is the only thing he says. Carola has decided to stay after all.
The eventful day is drawing to a close. Carola and I prepare to ride home. The young couple are about to go on their honeymoon to Oranienburg. So we have the same journey till Friedrichshagen. We set off. Albert lifts his two lead-heavy suitcases with a groan and staggers off. I am dying with laughter at this picture. Ruth hisses angrily at me to help him carry them. I hesitate because I don't want to be bossed around by her in front of Carola and because I don't see why I should have to suffer through this nonsense of travelling to Oranienburg (on the opposite, northern outskirts of Berlin!) for a fortnight with two giant suitcases packed to bursting. Albert claims it's almost all Ruth's stuff. But when I try to help him with the carrying, his pride won't allow it. But in the end we manage to carry the centner-heavy load together. In Friedrichshagen, Carola and I get off the train. As we shake hands through the train window, Ruth grabs my hand a second time and squeezes it quickly and impulsively.
While we wait for the tram downstairs at station, Carola's bad mood flares up again. In the exchange of words that follows, I make a remark that deeply offends Carola. The argument continued even when we were already lying in my parents' marital beds at home. (They had travelled to visit relatives and acquaintances in Silesia and the General Governorate). Carola again demanded that all relations with Albert and Ruth be severed. But I don't want that because it's pointless and unnecessary. I don't want to drop my friend because of a momentary and unfounded jealousy. The argument is tough. Were we perhaps not suited to each other after all? Was the step into marriage overhasty? But of all my female acquaintances, I can't think of one I would have preferred to Carola. People all have good and bad qualities. There is no one person who is a perfect match for another. There is no spouse who completely fulfils the other. Even good spouses do not always agree on everything, and not all qualities complement each other harmoniously. So there are differences even in good marriages. That must be natural. Without tension there is no glow, without friction there is no warmth. And if people were completely satisfied with themselves, they would soon forget about the Lord God. But this way they need Him as a third party in their difficulties. Marriage in threes. That is the solution. But the third party must be the Lord God.
We argued for a long time that night. It was a relentless struggle. But just as I had unintentionally hurt Carola with a remark at the railway station, I now intuitively find the reconciling word. With a deep sigh, she wraps her arms around me and everything is good again.
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